2021.09.28 21:48 chiplantz74747 Need Cover up Ideas…thinking about harry potter, but open to anythibgy
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2021.09.28 21:48 Infinite-Meal4760 I CAN TASTE AFFILIATE AFTER 1 week come join me!
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2021.09.28 21:48 spisaksj r/games displays it's maturity and love for nuanced game discussion that everybody knows Gamers™️ are famous for
2021.09.28 21:48 larrydragoi yeet'ed this off the MtG website. [3840x1400]
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2021.09.28 21:48 trowayduck Dating a bipolar person, looking for guidance
Hi all, using a throwaway for privacy. This got a little more drawn out than I anticipated, so apologies in advance. TLDR at the bottom.
Just for a little back story: I (28m) have been dating my gf (26f) for around 4 months now. We met around 2 years ago at work, were friends for a bit, faded out of friendship, and then became friends again at the beginning of the year. When we first met, she was very sexually promiscuous and took part in behavior that I don’t exactly agree with, but I don’t judge her by any means, I just decided to keep my distance. I am a recovering alcoholic/addict and at the time I was still drinking heavily. I am now 10 months sober, just in case any of that info is important. We hung out one night and fooled around, but didn’t have sex. After that is when we stopped communicating as friends as much.
A bit more perspective in case it’s relevant: She has a history of sexual abuse and has been raped as an adult, and was molested by her father as a child. I was married to a physically abusive woman, and have been in several emotionally abusive relationships involving cheating, lying, gaslighting, the whole 9 yards. (This is all before we knew each other, in my early 20s).
Fast forward to January timeframe. We’re both in toxic relationships. We caught up and became friends, albeit rather distantly. We’d text on occasion and consult/vent to each other. It was nothing but platonic, and there were never any blurred lines or confusion on that.
I ended up leaving the relationship I was in after months of cheating and lying, and a few months after, she left her relationship due to it being a pretty one-sided LDR. Neither of us talked the other into leaving our partners, neither of us pursued the other during this time. We’ve talked about it since and have established that pretty clearly, and we both agree on where we stood emotionally and that neither of us pushed any boundaries or had any misconceptions. Strictly platonic with no discussion needed to establish that.
As our friendship went on after our breakups, we both developed feelings. We took it pretty slow, but we were honest about it. We both wanted to make sure that we weren’t rebounds for one another, and that we weren’t jumping into anything for the wrong reasons. We had both gone through a lot of changes with her change in promiscuity (going from a poly situation to a monogamous lifestyle) and me getting sober. Awesome, we bonded over that respective character development. We both fell for each other and are very much in love.
I’ll leave the lengthy backstory there and get into the thick of my issue at hand. She has bipolar disorder and is not medicated, though I think she handles it well (no real crazy manic episodes, no self destructive behavior, it’s pretty mellow from what I can see and I think she’s put in a lot of work and introspection to get to where she is, and I’m very proud of her for that and admire her). When she’s elevated, everything is wonderful. We’re very romantic, insecurities are nonexistent, we’re both getting the attention we need, we’re just happy and there’s no friction at all. We communicate insanely well, it overall just feels exactly how I’d expect a 4 month relationship to feel.
However, when she isn’t elevated, it’s almost the opposite. We bicker, have long drawn-out emotional arguments, neither of us feel heard, etc. We’re pretty good about not being mean to each other during these fights; there’s no name-calling or intentionally “mean” things happening. I chalk this up to a few things, and the main one I think is on me: my elevation doesn’t go away. I’m very ADHD, was diagnosed as a kid and re-diagnosed as an adult. I stay elevated. I know I can be very needy emotionally, and to be frank, I can probably be overwhelming when she’s not matching that energy. My romantic gestures don’t go away, and I have a heightened sensitivity to when hers do - I always notice it and sometimes may even read into it. And I bring it up. Usually as a “are you okay/is everything alright?” and then as it goes on, it turns into a “I don’t feel loved, I feel like your romantic energy has dwindled.” Then ensues arguments.
I end up taking it very personally, and I catastrophize quite a bit, which I attribute to my shit history with relationships. I get a very overwhelming “she doesn’t love me anymore” mindset when she’s not at her peak. This causes problems, because I’m very open with her about my feelings, and I think maybe the way I word things at times comes off as an attack. I try to use “I feel” statements and not make it sound accusatory, but I think I do sometimes. She gets very defensive and shuts down, and understandably so. I end up feeling like I’m talking to a robot. The relationship goes from feeling like a brand new 4month love fest to feeling like we’ve been married for 15 years and can’t stand each other, and it feels like I’m trying to communicate with a wall. Which I’m sure overwhelms her even more. She needs space from conversations like that, and I will admit I have not been good about respecting that. I get a sense of impending doom and feel like I have to solve everything on the spot, and I get pushy. This all makes things worse, obviously.
I’m trying to be better about giving her the space she needs, but I end up sitting there stewing in my self-doubt and perceived catastrophe. Then I get into a mindset that we just have different needs and I need to accept that. But then she gets elevated again and everything goes right back to lovey-dovey, her jumping into my lap to cuddle, initiating sex, can’t get enough of my presence, communicating well, just pure bliss. She apologizes for being distant, I apologize for not handling it well, everything is kosher again, and that’s great! But it feels like an absolute emotional ROLLER COASTER!!!!
I love this woman very much. I think she is an absolute gem of a person, and it’s probably the first time I’ve actually loved someone romantically for who they are as a person. I still love her just the same when she’s not “elevated,” my feelings don’t go away. I don’t want it to be thought that I go “I only love _____ when she’s happy.” because that’s not the case. I get down too, I have depressive episodes; the difference is I’m still very much emotionally attached to her when I do, if anything I want more of her when I’m down. And for her (to me) it feels like it’s the opposite.
I’m very sorry for the drawn out post, I just need some guidance here. I want to be a good partner, but I also have to find a way to handle the way this affects my mood when she’s not at a peak. I will accept criticism or advice or guidance from anyone, and if anyone has ADHD/bipolar or has been in a relationship with someone dealing with that, your perspective is invaluable. This relationship, this person, is very important to me and I just want to be the best I can - both for her, and for myself. I’ll answer any questions (as if I didn’t ramble enough info). Thank you in advance.
TL;DR - gf has bipolar and is needy and lovey sometimes, I have ADHD and am needy and lovey consistently. I’m having trouble managing my expectations when she’s not “elevated” and I am.
submitted by trowayduck to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2021.09.28 21:48 rusdm 36 [M4F] Puget Sound Region / WA State / West Coast / Online -- HFA/ADHD Shy Introverted Christian Geek/Nerd/Gamer Looking for Dates
(Am looking for actual possible dates/meets more than just talking/chatting here But let's see what happens) Hi, I am a 5'9" guy with a chubby kind of build. Am LDS/Mormon, but am semi-active in it. I am introverted heavily and shy, tend to nervous/anxious in person, due to being HFA and ADHD.
Am a Geek/Nerd/Gamer. I like to read, spend considerable amount of time reading. I have done some writing and have written a couple of things that you could get on Amazon. You can them on Amazon, if you are interested, I can give you the links for them
I have a number of cook books with recipes that I would like to try out sometime. I love to do cooking and making food. At times. Other times, I just like eating food. My main food weakness is chocolate in general and then bread, which I have a tendency to scarf down.
I am a geek/nerd/gamer that loves Star Wars and Star Trek. I love scifi/fantasy. I like reading, like cats. Like tabletop games / board games. Like doing roleplaying games on tabletop and computers. I play Dungeons and Dragons (or have) starting out with 2nd Edition Dark Sun, and 2nd edition, playing through 3rd and 3.5 and 4th, and to 5th Edition. I also do Star Trek Adventures, both Starfleet/Federation and Klingon (Have the two gamebooks for this), Have books for the Fantasy Flight Games Star Wars: Edge of the Empire, Age of Rebellion, and Force & Destiny. Have played Wizards of the Coast's Saga Edition of Star Wars.
I have a bunch of single player computer games that I play. I don't have any interest in any of the guitar hero type of games or any of the sports type of games. That applies for tv shows and movies, I don't have much interest in Sports Themed movies or TV Shows. Like watching tvshows and movies on the streaming services I pay for. Like listening to music and NPR news.
Like doing some outdoorsy activities but I am hoping to get into doing more. Not yardworking. I have never liked any of the horror stuff in general.
I like different kinds of food but my favorites are pizza and chocolate and bread and Asian and cheeseburgers. I like chicken, like fried chicken. I like having pineapples on my pizza.
I like roleplaying games and strategy games and action adventure games and point and click Mystery games. For playing on computer.
I like some outdoor activities. I like to go on some walks/hikes. I like to go swimming. I like to go use a hot tub. I have an interest in bird watching.
I am currently working part time with two jobs. One is at a grocery store, while the other is helping out with a family member. Have my own car. Planning to move out at some point, just have had more periods of unemployment than being employed. Have been vaccinated for Covid19.
Have an interest in finding someone close to my age or within a range of 25-40, but am willing to go as low as 18, but only if you are particularly interested. Am 36 after all. I am looking for those in my area first, with further out second, and anywhere in the world as possible thirds.
However, I am going to want to meet up for at least coffee for reals probably sooner than later. As I am a chubby guy myself, I am open to those ladies/gals that are as chubby as me or less so, as possible dates.
I have ADHD and am HFA. Am also semi-active LDS/Mormon too. You don't have to be LDS/Mormon, but I would probably with that you were Spiritually inclined to Christianity. Don't need to be religious, I am not that much really.
Thanks for reading this. Best of luck to you, either way.
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2021.09.28 21:48 dougem Check out our 2nd episode of "Attack on Gossip" a Titan themed parody
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2021.09.28 21:48 Basarina What do you guys think?
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2021.09.28 21:48 mbyposting What do you think is the moste lore filled game/game series?
2021.09.28 21:48 reddit_feed_bot NewsMax: Rep. Hice to Newsmax: Biden Must Step Down After Generals' Revelations
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2021.09.28 21:48 Henkotron I am getting the back rooms vibes from this
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2021.09.28 21:48 HWilson1201 Your mum
2021.09.28 21:48 joebeefmontreal Maddy Dietz
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2021.09.28 21:48 Free-Horse-8311 Banner of neo-Byzantine nationalist ideology from TL( The Return of the Bear with the Crown: A Timeline of the Russian Empire)
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2021.09.28 21:48 senatorskippylips SPeCiMeN 9L1V35 BReAkS FReE fRoM mAximuM sECURITY TRaNSpoRt To area 51!
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2021.09.28 21:48 TrippingOutside Bangalore Police Harassment for filing Case on Animal Abusers
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2021.09.28 21:48 aspicyweeb I think showing my ex with bpd how lovely I think he is and showering in adoration and compliments ~ might be ~ working to get him to come back around!
It’s my birthday and he wants to hang out and he keeps calling me cute and pretty and stuff haha.
I really appreciate all the kind words and advice I’ve received from this sub. Is there any thing else I can do? I feel like this is progress but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
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2021.09.28 21:48 nelkboystothemoon Jesse
2021.09.28 21:48 nolanyte01 Pungent Pumpkingz - The hottest upcoming Halloween themed NFT drop. 6,666 Pumpkingz on Solana with dozens of unique hand-drawn mythic rares. Huge potential leading up to this holiday season, and tons of stuff planned for the future, check comments for info!
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2021.09.28 21:48 7Cs11 What movie is a huge red flag if someone says its their favorite?
2021.09.28 21:48 Tijunelis Logitech G Pro X headset not detecting software
| The GHUB software somehow is not being picked up and the headset won't allow me to make changes on the GHUB, I want to enable Blue Voice and make changes to the audio settings but I can't|
Microphone only picking up through default device
Headset only sending sound through the default device
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2021.09.28 21:48 cakeandcoke I'm in my thirties and I would like to get started on a beauty routine but I have no clue where to start! Advice for beginner?
I'm mostly interested in hair care and skin care.
I've always just used soap, the cheapest shampoo and conditioner and very little makeup and a basic lotion.
Mostly because I was always dirt poor when I was younger and now that I'm not I just don't know what to do to improve my skin and hair because it was never an option financially so I'm a little clueless
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2021.09.28 21:48 Yatoxy 2 SSCB marşı dinleyip komünist oluyorlar kafayı yiyeceğim amk ya
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2021.09.28 21:48 Logan_Mac Eminem's Mom's Spaghetti restaurant to open permanent location in Detroit
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2021.09.28 21:48 chutneyglazefan GTA San Andreas Things To Do In San Andreas/Неща за правене в Сан Андреас TTDISA/НЗПВСА Мод#1 някой има ли интерес да помогне да се направи пълен български превод за мода?
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